Senorita Grande Estrella
Character: Hispanic, early to late 20’s
Description: Secretly hurting from a troubled childhood, determined to the center of attention at all cost.
You better look at me because its all about me, people wanna be me but then they don’t know my testimony. I grew up in a single parent household and my mother didn’t pay me any attention. Whenever papi did come home, he used us kids as punching bags. I still remember the day papi used Juans arm as an ashtray to put out his cigarette. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Mija, if you were two steps closer it would have been you, now go get me a beer!”
That’s why I’ve made it my drive to scratch and claw my way to the top and now I’m directing the choir on the lookout for my big shot.
So the microphone better pick up my voice, the lights better glisten off my face and if I have to tell the camera man one more time to stay on me at all times, never mind picking up the rest of the choir. If he don’t know he better ask someone body because they all want sing like me, walk like me, dress like me.
Character: Dark skin woman, early to late 30’s
Description: Overcoming the trauma of growing up in a color struck household where light was right, this woman finds her voice and self-appreciation.
I love being black, for more than one reason!
Now let me start with the facts,
and why I thank God my skin tone is never out of season.
My black is not who I am!
It’s how society has chosen to, Shoot me down, Sit me down, Hold me down, Keep me down, Tear me down, Put me down, Knock me down, Smack me down, Slap me down, Kick me down and hold my head to the ground.
Yet, like water in a clogged drain on a rainy day, still I rise!
I rise from the dust,
From the ashes,
From the pain of my past,
From my brokenness,
From my tear stained pillow,
From my life of anguish,
From my broken home,
From my absentee father,
From my color struck grandmother,
Who attempted to instill in me that my black wasn’t good enough.
Character: early to late 30’s
Description: Always running into a series of strange events while trying to maneuver through the dating scene.
I took a deep breath being escorted to his ride.
My distrust and concern, I tried to hide.
Fast pace down the highway,
the city in view!
Then all of a sudden the air began to smell like mildew!
It appears this man has soaked himself in old spice.
Now, I’m sneezing and scratching as if I have head lice.
I left my medicine at home,
we’re 20 miles away,
then on top of it all I think my bra just gave way!
We stopped at this building that looked abandoned.
Am I about to get mugged by this stupid lug?!
I said a few Hail Mary’s as he dashed around the car.
He opened my door then I lunged at his jugular!
Needless to say, we got into a tussle!
I was so ashamed at how I beat down Russell.
Character: Full figured, early to late 30’s
Description: Suicidal and tired of waiting on God for her husband, makes a mistake but feels remorse.
Please… I use to be just like her. All I wanted was just Jesus. Just give me Jesus. Now I’m looking for 3 reasons not to pull this trigger or take these pills and put an end to my frustrations. Can anyone give me a reason? I’m not talking about that church mumbo jumbo either. I’m talking about a real reason to keep pressing on in the midst of rejection, deception, sin, chaos and everything I touch falling apart. (Breaks down into tears) I just know God is punishing me. He doesn’t want to see me happy. He said it’s not good for Man to be alone but what about a woman. (Angry – screaming) Oh, it’s okay for us! Well, I’ve officially had it. I give up!
I’ve been saved and single for a long time. Single all my life – I’ve never been married. I got saved in my late twenties. Here I am almost 40 years old and I’m still single. I’m sold out. I’ve done everything the church mothers told me to do. I prayed for a husband. Fasted, jumped, shout, got filled with the Holy Ghost and speak in tongues. I joined every ministry they created, even the mother’s board. They called me the junior mother!
Character: late 30’s to early 40’s
Description: Suspiciously thinks every woman wants her husband and therefore keeps him in view at all times.
Did you see that? I’m so sick and tired of these women giving my husband the eye. A woman’s man isn’t even safe around the Saints of God. Everywhere we go there’s some woman throwing herself at my husband. I’m so tired of it, I can’t take it anymore. The next time I see some woman smiling and grinning up in my husband’s face, I’m going to go off. I’m tired of this mess.
That’s just like last month, at this church upstate. Someone had the nerve to slide her slinky self-past him on her way to the ladies room. Talking about, “excuse me”. She wasn’t slick, I saw it, and she knew dang well she didn’t have to go to no bathroom.
Character: Late 30’s to early 40’s
Description: Believes she’s happy to be single, when actually she’s envious of the married women.
Well, I’ve decided that I’m not going to wait for my Boaz, Mr. Right, my head, sweetie pie, honey bun , cuddle cakes or my boo to wear my white dress. I’m wearing it now – how about that!
Sure I want a better half but until he comes, I’m not going to put my life on hold and I’m sure nough not going to let the opportunity to wear a beautiful white dress pass me buy, so I’m wearing it right now. I’m wearing my future, my hope, my vision of grandeur. I’m wearing what I want to look like now instead of later and I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is not a desperate plea for attention, this is not a prophetic walk of faith – it’s the fact that I’m not getting any younger and I’m not letting my marital status prevent me from enjoying the best days of my life.
Character: Woman, early 40’s
Description: Escapes the grips of love to find her true identity and self-confidence.
When love got away from me, it hurt me. When love got away from me, it hit me that I would never see love again. Although I was afraid to leave love, it was something I knew had to be done. Didn’t know how I was going to do it because love was all I knew. From the time I was in my early twenties, I had a thing for love. I couldn’t wait for love to notice me, point me out and soon be mine. Then it grabbed hold of me and took me on a ride. At first, I treasured the adventure and attention. It was like a world wind romance, fast paced and exciting but just when my heart was in and my soul was on fire, love turned on me.
Before I knew it, love began to call me out, follow me, watch me, it couldn’t take its eyes off me. Love made me feel uncomfortable and when I dared to question why, it abused my love, took it for granted. That’s why I’m through, we’re over – I want no more do with this thing called love.
Character: late 40’s
Description: Shares her story of marriage, divorce, self-discovery and recommit to God.
I married my ideal man of God. Oh, he was so anointed. He could preach you into heaven and back again. I just knew angels were ascending and descending every time he was called on to deliver the Word. I was so captivated by him and the man could sing, child. Whew… One night during a 3 day rival our pastor asked him to give a selection. My Lord, when he got through singing there wasn’t a dry eye in the congregation. Then when church went up into worship he began to prophesy. I mean he really knew how to summons in the presence of the Lord. Oh, I thought he was so deep, intellectual and gifted. I feel like I’m talking about him as if he were dead. Well, he’s yet alive unfortunately. I mean, praise the Lord!
He’s pastoring now on the Westside of town. I hear he’s doing quite well. In fact, I’m so happy for him. A lot of people were disappointed when we were divorced. Many blamed me and others blamed him. The truth is we’re both to blame. I was a PK, you know pastors kid. An evangelist at the time I met my husband to be. He didn’t notice me at first but then why would he when I was totting around a hundred extra pounds. You didn’t know that did you? Yes, I was huge. In fact, I was disgusted with myself and thought I would never get married.
Character: Young woman, late 20’s-early 30’s
Description: Sassy and outspoken, gives her opinion of why we should be looking to God for answers to love and sex.
Sex, making love, doing the nasty, getting it on, making babies, procreation, getting laid, getting down with the get down, what’s done in the dark, smashing and I could go on and on with all the verbal vernaculars we use to express what comes naturally between a man and a woman.
The problem is we don’t want to be honest and talk about sex, especially in church. When it should be the first place we discuss the facts of life, the birds and the bees.
Well, I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. After all, God created all this, so it’s His fault. When He created Adam, He created in Adam both male and female but as the female side came out – Wow-man! Here comes Eve, who steps on the scene and almost instantly creates a name for herself thus separating those men from us women, which further perpetrated the problem.
Queen of Mean
Character: late 40’s to early 50’s
Description: Mean and bitter about how life has treated her over the years.
So, I know how she feels, the frustration, the anxiety, wondering how things are going to turn around. I know that feeling, as a matter of fact; I know it so much until I became mean and bitter. People look at me and wonder how I can call myself saved and sanctified. Let me tell you something honey, if you went through the same fire I’ve been through you would come out with some residue on you and my pain and anger is the residue of the fire I’ve been in! I tried to shake it off. I tried to forget the back stabbing and hurt and how they talked about me in the midst of being innocent. How they threw dirt in my face as if it wasn’t enough that I was already down.
Yes, I’ve got some issues. Yes, I’m angry- got some resentment but the one thing I don’t have is unforgiveness. The bible doesn’t say anything about holding on to resentment and anger but it says if you don’t forgive them, then I can’t be forgiven. So I forgive them. I pray for them. The only difference is my prayer isn’t like yours that’s for sure (chuckles)! I ain’t praying Lord bless them; I’m praying Lord curse them. I’m not praying Lord may you keep them; no, I’m praying Lord tear them down. I’m not praying for them to have the best when deep inside I want them to have the worse. Deep inside, when I say break a leg, I mean literally break a leg! I know that’s cruel – unusual punishment. (Deep breath)
Character: 18 to early 20’s
Description: Traumatized by her sisters’ unexpected pregnancy, she convinced on being a virgin until death.
I couldn’t believe my ears! Is this what Jesus would do? Where’s the love, forgiveness or at least grace? Charlene looked at me as she sat down and that’s when I knew, I refuse to end up like her. (Angry) I’m going to hold on to my virginity. I’m not going to give it away to the first smooth talker, the first anointed preacher I hear, the first man that says I’m beautiful or holds the car door open, carries my bible, stands up when I sing or says amen. I’m going to hold on to it as if my life depends on it. They can offer me the world on a platter but I refuse to let it go.
I’m going to be the first woman to die a virgin. I’m going to let it age like fine wine that’s purposefully set aside, untouched, uncorked and preserved. No, I won’t end up like my sister Charlene.
Character: Late 30’s – early 40’s
Description: Traumatized by her sisters’ unexpected pregnancy, she convinced on being a virgin until death.
My vagina is holding me back. It’s stopping me from being the person I was meant to be. Preventing me from breaking through the glass ceiling established to stop the emotional, weak, moody, maternal person who thinks with their heart and not with their head – (sarcasm) however which way, you want to take that statement.
Yes, my poor aging vagina is the reason I’m not the CEO, CFO or COO of a fortune 500 company. It’s the reason I’m not the starting player on the 50 yard line of a football field. It’s why, if I choose to have sex before marriage, I’m called out of my name. Therefore, it has become my nemesis – (shadow boxing) fighting against me and everything I’m trying to accomplish.
Character: Early to mid 20’s
Description: Narcissistic and obsessed with social media and tries desperately to get “likes.”
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the prettiest of them all?
You better not lie but tell me the truth!
You know I’m the fairest from here to Duluth!
Look at my hips, my waist and thighs.
Look at the way I walk,
yasssss, I glide!
People may hate while others anticipate.
My every move is graceful.
I don’t dress distasteful.
I’m well-groomed from head to toe,
And I don’t date men who aint got no doe.
If you wanna pull me, you better pull up in a Benz!
Some nookie afterwards well that depends.
Did we have champagne and caviar or did you try to pimp out with a big mac?
Because if you did that then as a matter of fact,
I’m getting out this car, bye bye, see you later,
Because I don’t do broke with rental cars, maxed out credit cards or bad credit #payyourstudentloans!
Character: Young woman, late 20’s – early 30’s Description: Angry at the saints and discouraged after losing her job gives up and goes back to being a striper.
I want to know what that kind of love feels like. I want to know how it feels to be with a man who handles his responsibilities, cares for the woman he loves and wants to put in the necessary work to create a happy family.
All I use to end up with was dead beats, playas and ex-cons, who only wanted someone to either use or take care of them. Thank God, I got saved and delivered out of those relationships. Or maybe I should be thanking my ex-fiancé. It was his mistreatment; gambling and constant fighting that made me lay in bed at night crying out to God for help. I’ve heard people say, God doesn’t hear a sinner’s prayer but I know he heard mine when my ex landed himself back in jail. It was my way out and into the arms of God.
Deaconess Church Hurt
Character: 30+ Description: Hurt and discouraged about not being able to have a baby, presses forward because of her supportive husband.
I know how she feels. I too gave up a long time ago. (Laughing) I got tired of trying to be Ms. Goody-to-shoes. Doing everything according to what I was taught. I got married, went to Bible College and obtained my Masters of Theology. Yet, when I couldn’t have children the saints criticized me, instead of praying for me they whispered and mocked. Said I didn’t have any faith. Said God was punishing me for my past.
You see I got pregnant at the age of 16 by the boy down the street. Well, my mother wasn’t about to let a baby in her house so she marched me down to the local clinic for an abortion. That was the only time I’ve ever been pregnant. I could just smack myself for giving that testimony in church. Let me help some of you… Be careful what you testify about because it just may come back to bite you.